Timing Is Everything

Yesterday morning, one of my business partners with whom I've been working for more than 10 years to get our indie film company up and going has told me they are leaving the company, if not the whole entertainment industry. So, now I have to sit down with my other partner and decide whether we continue forward as we have or take another direction with the company.

In light of my coming to terms with my disabilities and my fight for benefits, this couldn't have come at worst time. I'm not going to rail against this ex-partner for their choice of timing nor will I get into here the details of the situation me and my other partner are now in as this ex-partner departs the company. However, if timing is everything, then everything sucks.

To be honest, I think after 10 years of trying to start up a film company you have every right to quit. Most folks don't even last a year in an endeavor without an immediate return, let alone a decade. So, I have to give my former partner credit there. But what amazes me more is that I haven't given up on my ambition and goals as a filmmaker and writer. Afterall, I have had some personal success in both arenas, although nothing anyone in the larger public would consider a windfall.

What occurs to me, though, is that my having to battle with my disabilities, overcome them and constantly battle each and everyday to cope has given me a natural determination - an almost instinctive will - to not give up when encountering adversity or "failure." That's not to say I haven't thought a million times or more about just throwing in the towel, and I have definitely taken mental vacations from the struggle. However, I always return to the battle and count each and every success, no matter how minor, one step closer to the ultimate goal...whatever that goal might be.

For all the negative side effects disability brings us, it also embues us with the capacity to withstand even the greatest of challenges. If I have gotten this far and achieved what I have achieved then no one else's choice, no matter how adversely it affects my goals, will stop me from continue my pursuit. This is not to say the disabled person can win every battle - no way! In fact, it's more important for anyone confronting adversity whether physical, mental or emotional to pick and choose their battles, because many battles will be lost. But what I learned yesterday was that for myself, the harder the adversity, the greater the challenge, the more success I discover when I reach the end of my goal.

And as I've learned through my studies of Buddhism, those who and that which hurts us teach us the most valuable lessons.